Part 1: Rome

Hello there fellow gamers, when you set out to travel Rome is one of the must-do destinations, its a must – but not a good one, like getting immunized, you have to do it, but you will cry all the way. I will explain why below but do not take this as a deterrent for visiting the city.

Ten things I have about Rome, not sure if I can get to ten – but I will throw them out there.

1. Street vendors!
I will be using exclamation marks for all my points, the grammar competent, please don’t judge me. Here you are, staring at the Colosseum, a sight that has survived world wars, even the fall of the empire that built it, then a street vendor shoves a bottle of water in your face, 1 euro he says, you politely say no – 4 vendors later someone is pushing a selfie stick in your face. My tip is to come at night, also if your not that keen do not go inside, the tours will cost you an arm, and a leg and the line is more massive than my disappointment with the city. These guys are everywhere, they will use tricks, white guilt, and even promises of beating the lines – avoid them.

2. Driving!
So basically in Rome, the road rules are suggestions, kind of like yeh maybe abide by them unless your sure you don’t need to, then do whatever you want. When trying to cross the road you have to be brave, step onto that marked pedestrian crossing, make eye contact with Marchello the moped driving Roman and hope he values human life enough to slow down – stopping is not going to happen so hurry up before you get run over.

3. No one likes you!
To the defense of my Roman brethren tourists are annoying, they never know where they are, they always take photos, butcher your language and take your local sights and turn them into their own – their city is a prostitute, and they are not happy with us as clients. The cafe and restaurant owners are over you trying to pronounce Lasagna, Pene and so on like a local. Bill from Ohio point it out, no one who lives in the center of fashion wears cargo pants with ten pockets.

4. Receipt?!
What is it that I am paying for? well sitting is apparently something you pay for in Rome, like a lunatic you expected to drink your coffee seated, with no extra charge, you psycho – pay a euro like the rest of us! also your receipt won’t say what you actually ordered, just some random shit.

5. Public transport or light rail to hell!
The birthplace of western civilization forgot to excuse me and thanks, as I a 99-kilo stocky man from Australia scummed my way to get on a tram I realised this city had lost its way and it turned me into it. I heard a man say excuse me and I shed a single tear for my homeland, thank god for that firm politeness.

6. I am the problem!
Observing the city I realised that the Romans were not the problem, we were – Imagine if you will, a dreary workday, your heading home on a train surrounded by tourists who smell from the days walking, you can’t sit because they took your seats. You go to your favorite restaurant with your best friend or lover and here we are again, mispronouncing your poetic language that the modern world was written in. Where I am from we have so much space and we are so far away from the world that tourism cant effect us, we drive an hour north, and we are in our world – these Romans have nowhere to go, they can’t even go to church without us gawking at them like animals in a Zoo.
Rome is the eternal city, it will shine on longer than this blog post, longer than the author and longer than most the readers, she is wise and old, witnessed the end of the world and the birth of a new one. Always visit her and be mindful of the locals; they are people too.

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