Help! I am too much of an adult for my games

Hello, there, fellow games, its that time of the year, time to take stock of what counts – by that I mean gaming, specifically games I didn’t get to play but wanted to this year. Hey! I am a moderately busy adult, so I do demand forgiveness for missing some of it.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare
Yeh bro, hold my monster while I bang your mom!

Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice
Yeh, okay, what does the name even mean?

Outer Wilds
I thought it was Outer Worlds? Next year maybe?

Untitled Goose Game
An indie game that has taken the world by storm, Honk Honk!

The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening
I would buy a switch, but I am broke, and my kidneys aren’t worth as much as I had hoped.

I need the money and more time, so if any of my readers have a spare million they are willing to part with – please send it to me, but for those who don’t, I will settle for a list of games you regret missing out on in 2019.

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